The unknown

She passed by me, our eyes met and those eyes just woken up my curious self. I wanted to know more of her. I badly wanted to know why her smile and eyes don't reflect the same thing and that curiosity eventually led me to a place which i thought i would never end up in my life. A place, where peace and agony lived together, a place many of you are familiar with.. My heart was at great disagreement with my mind, a part of me was strongly warning me to not to walk anymore and return back to sanity, while the other wanted me to feel the unstoppable and i remained at a very delicate equilibrium not knowing which part will eventually cave in.

Those who knew me can say i am not an adventurous being but this time i knew it was different.. The voices outside were tilting the balance towards sanity but i can feel the tides becoming rough with each passing day within me.

I had read/seen about this a million times but never experienced it in this way and absolutely had no idea how this will change the very soul of me. I can move a mountain with that kind of effort that i was putting in just to remain sane when she is nearby.

Ever heard of sleepless nights, well sleepless nights was a big understatement to what i was going through. I was revolting against myself, I found my eyes not following where my mind directs them to look at and even if they followed they didn't picture anything else. Days passed like seconds or seconds like days, everything else was just mechanical.

I get to see her, that's all that mattered. I wished to have her around and when she was, i didn't want to look at her as it became unimaginably painful to not to think of her about the way every single beat of my heart wanted. "She is not for you", "She cant be yours". My head was full of 'No', 'cant', 'don't', 'never' but my heart says one thing and one thing only, that is "Yes". I knew i cant hold on to whats been building in me for long.. It had to burst and then that thing happened which all of me except my mind was dying for..